Dirty Little Secrets
by Its A Cruel World Out There
Summary: Both men held deep, dark secrets that have been left untold for years now. Eren's secret drags you to the deepest pit of hell to beg for your life. Levi's secret twists societies version of the world like nothing you would ever see. The two, not at all likeable to anyone really, find themselves ensnaring each other even if Eren doesn't even want to look at Levi. (M later. EreRi)
1. Average Day

**AN: I may or may not continue this one. It depends if I get enough inspiration or support and such... I do like it though and I hope I will be able to continue it. :) **

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"Are you absolutely shitting me right now?" Eren asked incompetently and raised his eyebrows in questions of the man's integrity and also if his IQ was below thirty. It was a rather testing look, especially with the way the brown eyebrows raised in superstition and the turquoise eyes glowing with ire.

Jean huffed in defense, his lower lip sticking out and eyes narrowing at the mysterious boy standing in his door way to the dorm room they shared. Eren's side was absolutely sparkling clean. Meanwhile, on Jean's side, that was a completely different story entirely. Sure, he had cleaned all the time at home but he thought he would get away from that all when he came here to College.

'Of course I get the one incompetent roommate,' Eren thought to himself and rolled his eyes. It really wasn't worth the time to yell at Jean and force him to clean or just end up doing it on his own. Besides, it wasn't like he was going to be in the dorm room that night so it could pass for now. "Fine, whatever just clean up the room before I get back."

"And when is that?" Jean asked curiously and tilted his head a bit to the side. As much as he would hate to admit it, he was used to his dorm mate's disappearances and not returning until the crack-ass of dawn and waking him up in the most annoying ways. Usually he was blasting some sort of music and that woke Jean up every time.

Eren shrugged and pulled up the hood of his 'Wings of Freedom' (at least that's what he called it) sweatshirt that he had designed himself with the white and black overlapping wing insignia on his back. Sliding his ear buds in, he slid the iPhone out of his black-jeaned pocket and began to blast _'Let The Sparks Fly'_ by _Thousand Foot Krutch_ and turned the volume all the way up just so he could drown himself in the music.

Finally getting a little peace within the music, the boy happily turned and left the room while gnawing lightly on his vertical labret just to ease his stress a little bit more. Piercings you ask? Why yes, he has plenty. The vertical labret of course and then shark bites because Eren had thought it looked cool at the time and frankly he still does. He has been considering a Medusa but wasn't so sure it would look a very well with his septum piercing.

On his ears, name an ear piercing and somewhere he had it on except he doesn't do the extending of your earlobes. Ugh that just grosses him out. His current favorite ear piercing was the industrial piercing where it was shaped as an arrow. Somehow that never failed to make him crack a smile in the mornings as he got ready for a shitty day.

Oh and don't get him started about his three eyebrow piercings because they just fit his eyebrow shape and it made him happy to look at. Yeah, he liked having multiple piercings. There was absolutely nothing wrong with that; nor was wearing black all the time either.

Letting out a deep breath as he stepped into the icy hallways that chilled the New Yorker to the deepest pit of his chest, he turned and walked down the hallways and occasionally passing a couple of other students who gave him a wide berth. Honestly, it didn't bug the boy that people naturally avoided him because being alone with his music perfectly suited him just fine.

Turquoise eyes dancing about, he looked out and scowled to see bright light filtering through the trees leaves still. Damn, he hated being out during the day but alas; classes were during the day, much to his dismay. Though, he had to admit, late nights up totally kicking ass on any video game was nice as well but that topic could be touched on later.

Flipping through some more songs as he lingered through the hallways to his next class located in the hallway down from the door room he stayed in, he hesitated outside the doorway before going inside. It didn't matter if he skipped any of his classes because he was just brilliant enough to get by with missing over thirty days and still being the top of his class.

Instantly he regretted entering the classroom because he saw the person he wanted to see even more than Jean. Annie, his ex-girlfriend—a recent breakup too—was happily chatting there with Reiner and Bertolt and laughing openly with them. Something Eren had never been able to accomplish in the four years they had dated each other. Granted they had been both very secretive with each other and hardly told each other anything of their pasts so it was almost a given it wasn't going to work out but still… Breakups always hurt.

Even so, Eren wasn't going to act like he was bothered about it and sauntered off to his seat in the back of the class and leaned back in the chair and tossed his legs up onto the desk. After filtering through a couple more songs and getting yelled at to take his feet off the desk which ended up in the Professor huffing and puffing because the boy paid her no mind, Eren was left to his own thoughts and music once again in his secluded little corner he had mentally claimed as his own and no one dared to even come near. Well, everyone minus his best friend and adoptive sister, Armin and Mikasa but they happened to not be in this class per say but all of the dark corners of the classes he went to were claimed by his mind.

Luckily no one decided to question the quiet and mysterious man in the back of classrooms, never paying any mind but scoring a perfect score on everything they did. He may look and act like a complete delinquent, but he was far from one in his grades.

Nodding off near the end of class, the bell startled him out of his daze and he sighed heavily as if standing up was a massive task that required too much of his precious energy to do. Heaving his lanky-looking body out of the chair and swinging his legs to collide roughly with the ground, he gracefully stood up and grabbed whatever the hell the papers that had been tossed on his desk were and headed off to drop them into his desk drawer and get the book he needed for the next class.

After his second class of the day, Eren was left to his own devices and ended up just wandering about the chilling halls for a little while before sauntering off to the kitchen. Chilling in one of the chairs for a little bit, he finally slid out his headphones and smiled weakly at how quiet the world was without music. God he hated the quiet with a passion.

Looking up when footsteps sounded closely to the kitchen, Eren's eyes lazily traveled up to look at who decided it was okay to walk in on him torturing himself mentally. It was Armin, of course. The boy always had chosen the best times to walk in to keep Eren from doing any more damage to himself even if the boy didn't realize what he was doing.

"Hey, Eren," Armin greeted with a pearly-white smile and his baby blue eyes glistened with excitement from seeing his rather gothic best friend. It never had bothered him the choices Eren made but the smoking rather bothered him still because Eren only smoked when something was upsetting him and he didn't even realize that.

Eren was smoking right now, lips parting to release a puff of white poison into the crisp air before turning to look at Armin again. "Hey." Was all he said before refocusing his attention on the bland, white wall in front of him as if the world's mysteries were written on it in code and he was trying to decipher what exactly the scribbles meant. Of course that wasn't true but it seemed like that taking into factor on how intense his unwavering stare was.

"What is it now? And hasn't the staff told you no smoking in the kitchen?" Armin questioned stubbornly and plucked the cigarette out of pale fingers that were left curled as if still caressing the near bud of his cigarette he had been enjoying. "You are always upset when you smoke, so spill."

Inwardly cursing Armin's brilliance, Eren turned his body just slightly to face the blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy and sighed heavily. "I am not upset. I was craving nicotine _thank you very much_ and I was enjoying that cigarette." A sparkle lit his left eye when the sun rays bounced off the brilliant color before it disappeared and another cigarette was propped into his mouth. "And they don't care anymore. They know nothing they say will stop me."

Flicking on the lighter, he gladly took in a drag of the cigarette and let it puff out into another little cloud in front of him and sighed softly. So softly that Armin didn't notice as he rolled his eyes and went over to heat himself up a hot pocket because there was nothing better at the moment. Their lunch together was mostly spent in silence and the occasional small talk here and there. For once, Eren found he didn't mind the silence.

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**Meh. It's shorter than I would like but I promise it'll get longer soon enough. :)**


	2. Visitor

**Alright I have finished the second chapter! I am rather happy with this one and you get a tiny little speck of Eren's past in here and more cursing... So, cursing... Yeah and also, smoking.. Just FYI. Mikasa has a little bit but Eren's temper ends their chat short because of stuff.. Alright, enjoy!**

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"What the hell do you mean Mr. Pixis quit?! That self-defense class was his fucking life he would never just drop the damn thing out of the blue!" Eren asked, eyes blazing with fury as he leaned over the desk to glare at the old man sitting there with glasses perched on the bridge of his nose like he was some little sophisticated shit. It wasn't the best day to pick on Eren and right now, he was in disbelief his favorite teacher announced his retirement and simply left him all alone in this hell-hole of a world.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Jaeger, to inform you, but Dot Pixis was struck ill and has finally retired like he was supposed to years ago. You should know he was getting old," the man said softly with a crackling voice that was worn from use due to his old age. Like, seriously, the man looked about in his nineties but he was rather well built and Eren had seen him walk around as if he was twenty five rather than seventy five.

Scowling, Eren huffed and leaned back off the counter so quickly it was as if touching something that man touch repulsed him. And it did. First, he had lied to him about the illness thing because he had seen Mr. Pixis at the store last night and the fact even he said Pixis had retired peeved the boy to no ends. "Like hell old man. Fuck you this isn't helping me."

"Watch your tone mister," the man warned and narrowed his creased eyes behind the glasses frames and Eren felt his hands curl into a fist. Oh so he wanted to be a smart ass now too? Absolutely lovely. Eren had needed a source of release lately and this little shit would do just fine. He could already hear the sound of breaking bones and snapping cartilage as his fisted hand made contact with that big-ass nose that just screamed for him to punch it and take it out of its misery of being on the man's face.

"Don't tell me what to do ass-hole," Eren snarled darkly and his eyes flashed dangerously as he stared at the man with hatred simmering deep inside of his chest. He hated when people bossed him around because it reminded him too much of things he doesn't like remembering and usually people who try to boss him around are either ignored or seriously pummeled into the ground.

"I may be an old man but I sure as hell can fight better than a pathetic gothic child," he said, the old man finally just getting enough of trying to put up with Eren's flaring vocabulary and also his violet nature. It was as if Eren was oozing the will to fight and it was transferring to the old and worn body that still had some spunk left in it. Little did he know it was simply a common affect Eren had on people; the want to beat him up.

Allowing an amused quirk to his lips, Eren rolled his eyes at the comment and laughed almost manically except it was so dark of a sound that a girl who just walked in the entrance turned right back out. Turquoise eyes lighting up at the idea of being able to fight someone after a long time of waiting for something interesting to happen. So happy that his next words came out in an amused and dark purr: "I wouldn't bet you luck on it."

Undetectable to human eyes, the old man took a light shiver to his body before he rested his body back down into the seat and sighed heavily. "But I won't fight you, kid. I heard some rough things about you and I am not sure exactly what to believe." Running a callused hand from so many years of use though his scruffy facial hair, the man shook his head and glanced up at Eren who's eyes screamed dangerous and his lips curling into little daggers that made him want to run and scream for fear of his life.

"Oh really now? I would be delighted to hear some of the wild fantasies my class has of me," Eren hummed amusedly and plopped himself on top of the counter and knew the man could not do anything to stop him from doing just that. After all, he had shivered in fear at his voice alone so might as well not give the man nightmares from a teenage boy. "Come on, entertain me."

Narrowing his brown eyes, the man glared lightly up at the boy who was really starting to grate on his nerves. The cocky attitude and the way he just carries himself like he was the center of the universe and he knew exactly how to use it to his own ends. "Shouldn't you be getting to sleep, young man? It is well after ten o'clock and I am sure you have plenty of classes tomorrow."

Scoffing, turquoise eyes rolled in response as he lowered himself back down onto the ground and tossed his hood back up over his head. The whirring sound of the heater that clanked with a broken piece every second and the chiming of the bells was all to be heard as Eren calmly took his leave. Scaring the man had raised his moods a little bit and also hearing about how his classmates spread rumors about the mysterious boy who never spoke in the back of the classrooms.

Losers.

Looking up towards the sky, rain drizzled onto his face and ran down the pale colored cheekbones before he faced forwards again and trudged with through the mud and puddles with his trusty combat boots. Honestly, he absolutely loved the rain and would spend every waking moment he had in the wet substance if he could but then again it gets hard to smoke when the rain constantly puts out the cigarette.

"Mm, come to spy on me now?" Eren asked out loud, near silent footsteps pausing as he came to the dreary building to his left due to the rain. It made the whole campus seem a bit shady though it didn't bother Eren the least yet he had noticed the girls don't really come out during rainstorms. Hardly boys even dared to get their precious clothing wet either. Whatever.

A man stepped out from behind the building and made his way over to Eren with a gracefulness that very few could carry. Narrowing his eyes at the man, the college student scanned over every feature on the approaching man's body faster than he should be able to.

Soft baby blue eyes and a strong jaw line with fierce eyebrows and elegantly placed blonde hairs. A gray t-shirt that flexed with the muscles underneath and the jeans that made him look nondescript and regular tennis shoes. Oh, and also the toss over jacket with the hood pulled up to keep his face shaded and out of view from curious eyes.

"Sharp as always, I see, Jaeger," the man commented smoothly in a voice that could be commanding if he wanted it to be. Geez it pissed Eren off to no end and he just wanted to smash that nose into his inhumanly beautiful face and call it done.

"Whatever. What does he want now?" Eren nearly complained though his voice remained steely and cool. It wasn't like he wanted to see Erwin's reaction to his moment of boredom and also torture. Other than the sound of the pitter patter of raindrops on the ground, it was so goddamn _quiet _and he hated it.

Erwin sighed and shook his head, knowing the boy's determination and also ignorance for what he had become. Maybe he did know or just didn't care either way; Erwin was thoroughly done with it. Along with many other people Eren had left behind without a single regret. Even back then he had always been different and it wasn't a good thing either. "He isn't happy with you."

"When is he ever happy with me?" Eren quipped back sharply and his lips curled down in a grimace that morphed his face to look so much older than it really was and he gave a small snarl of warning when Erwin shifted his weight a little and was making a move to walk forward. Stepping back a little, Erwin held up his hands in defense. "I don't care anymore; I am honestly getting a little pissed off at him sending you so fucking often to tell me he is disapproving of whatever the hell I did then. I swear he holds onto it too long. Get him to shut up about it alright?"

Erwin sighed, the rebellious boy forever rebellious and nothing would seem to change it, no matter what they did. Still, they weren't going to give up because one day, Eren will come back to them and it will all be complete and the plan can finally be carried out. It would all be perfect. Voice calm and even when he spoke, Erwin began to walk along the path, "I am afraid I cannot do that, Jaeger. You will have to speak to him yourself."

Growling, Eren watched the man leave and shook his head in defiance and also just plain irritation as the tall body evaporated into the rain. The soft sound of dancing rain droplets stopped when Erwin left and Eren remained in the silence, soaking wet and glowering.

'_What a way to ruin my night you fucktard._'

Sighing indigently, the boy hiked up his feet from the mud and began to drag his now lazy-ass through the park and back towards the dormitories. Looks like his night will be spent in his dorm now because Erwin totally killed his mood to do anything he normally would do.

When he made it back to the room, Jean was nowhere in sight but the room was now spotless and Eren sighed in relief. Tossing his hood back, he stripped out of his muddy boots and black skinny jeans and slid on gray sweatpants that were splattered with a liquid that looked a little too much like blood and folded the clothing before setting it in his hamper and placing the boots on the shelf in the closet and made a mental note to get the mud off them later.

Removing his sweatshirt and _Pierce the Veil_ t-shirt underneath, his upper body was left bare and he stretched out comfortably before flopping down on his bed. Pulling up his laptop, he rested the headset on his ears and adjusted the microphone accordingly. A blip signaled his camera was ready along with Skype and he clicked on the little blue icon and signed himself in as Online.

**That_Devil_Jaeger **was his name on there and he rather liked it because everyone online thought he was a devil. Whatever, they could believe whatever they wanted to believe. That was up to them and their wild and frankly rather stupid imaginations that were hardly creative at all.

**Watch_The_Queen_Conquer **invited him to a video chat soon enough to which Eren accepted with a click on the mouse pad and the video chat popped up and there came the loading sign. Personally Eren thought it took way too long to load even though it was more like ten seconds or so but that was far too long in his mind. Oh well.

Mikasa's face soon popped up on the screen and Eren adjusted his camera so only his face could be seen before it showed him as well. The girl had her long, silky black hair pulled back into a pony tail and she was currently on her bed as well with a couple of posters behind her of her favorite bands. _Yawn_, Eren thought. They weren't all that good but it was her style and he wasn't going to bash her about it.

"Have you even studied for the math exam tomorrow?" She asked and held up the papers of reviews she had received. So that's what the papers must have been that he shoved into his desk drawer earlier; the . He already knew it all and he didn't get the point of stupid tests if he already knew it all. Pass and just get on with his life is his motto. What people needed a calculator for he could do in his mind in seconds.

"No, of course not I haven't Mikasa. You know I never study. Never have, never will," he replied smoothly and reached over to grab a pack of cigarettes he hid in the false drawer on the side of his nightstand. Considering there was no smoking allowed he had to be careful about it to not get expelled for a week, again. Not that he minded but Mikasa and Armin get mad at him. "There is no point. I will get an A+ anyways."

"I don't know how you manage that, honestly, Eren. You never study and you are always vanishing into thin air only to come back with some new wild story to tell about things that happen to you on the street. I worry about you and all you do is blow my worry off as if it's nothing because you are the almighty Eren Jaeger and nothing could possibly hurt you. When are you going to take responsibility for your actions?"

Peeved now, Eren's eye twitched as he lit the cigarette and inhaled deeply to calm his fraying nerves and keep himself sane. God, everyone was out to reprimand him today and he even got a visit from an old friend he wants to murder next time his pretty little face shows up in his life again to tell him how _he _was disappointed in him. Fuck it all. "Whenever I can learn to give a shit," he snapped and ended the call by slamming his laptop shut again.

Lost in his swirling thoughts, the cloud of poison leaked from between his lips and curled into the dense air around his bed. The popcorn ceiling was really beginning to piss him off and he imagined Erwin's head in the patterns and felt like punching the ceiling now to get a little bit of stress relief out.

Groaning and finding himself on his third cigarette too soon, Eren closed his eyes as he laid there sprawled out across the bed with uneven breaths lifting and lowering his chest quickly and then slowly. It changed too many times and Eren's mind swirled back into darker places.

It was so goddamn **quiet**.

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**Drop a review? I love hearing from you guys so tell me what you think of this one please~! Also if you want me to continue it.**


	3. I Don't Like You

**I finally finished chapter three! I am happy about this one actually. Freckled Jesus finally makes his debut appearance! :D**

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Eren awoke with a start, alarm buzzing annoyingly loud at six in the morning with the loud bass guitar and the heavy drums signifying Three Days Grace had decided to wake him up today. Groaning loudly and flicking off the alarm, he tried to recall when he had fallen asleep and figured it must have been around three in the morning after he had picked his laptop back up to play some Kingdom Hearts to work off some nerves. Sing about the campus. But, unluckily for Eren, today was not a day he could just relax in his dorm and ignore the world like he usually does. He even had to _interact_ with people today for fucks sake.

Throwing the heated cover off, his pale skin that wasn't marked with scars—which wasn't a lot not marked—prickled with goose bumps all along his arms and parts of his chest. He hated the cold with a passion and that retard Jean must have decided it was okay for him to make the room an ice burg twenty four-seven. Sauntering over to the thermostat lazily, Eren cranked on the heat before heading into the boy's showers next door and claiming the first open stall.

Resting his head against the wall as he waited for the water to heat up a little bit more before stripping, Eren's mind began to drift off into unknown territory before it landed on the subject of his favorite class: self-defense. He still couldn't believe that Mr. Pixis would just quit like that, it wasn't like the man but he had been getting a little old…But he swore the man was going to continue on for at least ten more years. Ah, maybe something else came up and maybe he wanted to retire. It really wasn't Eren's business but he was rather curious is all. Hm, he had the man's number.

Reaching out, he felt the water temperature and deemed it warm enough and discarded of the blood-stained sweatpants and rested them on the side and pulled the curtain back and looped it around the hook. Honestly, he was really glad they had installed curtains in boy's shower rooms because he didn't like anyone seeing his scars even if he takes showers when everyone else is still asleep or doing something other than taking a shower.

The water ran down his body gently as he tilted his face up to the droplets and simply stood there for a little, listening to the sound. Sound, oh wasn't it a wonderful thing? Eren certainly thought so but he had things to do after all so might as well get cleaned up because sadly he can't simply stand here in the warm showers all day.

Scrubbing his skin until it turned pink from the ferocity and the hot water, Eren soon was washing through his hair vigorously and then dried and dressed before the first student came in after him. It was six fifteen by the time he was fully dressed and ready for his class that was on the other side of campus and started at eight. Might as well brush his hair and teeth or some shit like that.

Even so, he was still bored and it was quiet in the room. Nothing was happening and it was simply leaving Eren in dead silence. He hated it with a passion and simply wanted something, anything to fill the silence. Hell, he would even take Erwin's stupid-ass voice if it was something than this silence. Anything, anything but the silence. Still, he didn't have his music because he forgot to plug in his phone.

Jean soon walked in to find Eren huddled in a corner in a fetal position with his arms wrapped around his hood-covered head and legs curled up to his chest defensively. As much as Jean would hate to admit it, he cared a little bit for Eren and it was shocking to see him so…weak and vulnerable in that small little corner.

Might as well piss him off just to get him out of the little depression area he had crawled into.

"I cleaned the room you fucking clean freak," Jean snapped, typical him but it really was just a ruse to get Eren out of his little corner. After all, roommates learn what makes each other tick and Eren hates being called any sort of remotely offensive name.

The response was immediate. The brunette's head snapped up and his blazing turquoise eyes narrowed to little slits at the other male. Jean simply grinned in response and Eren huffed when he realized the game he had played and shook his head.

"Asshole," he grumbled but both knew—though Eren would never admit it; ever—he was grateful. Rising from his little area, Eren went over towards Jean and gave him a small whack in the arm for calling him a clean freak which stung lightly and gave a tiny nod of appreciation. Knowing he would get beat into the ground if he said anything cocky, Jean returned the nod just barely and went over to gather his things for his own classes as did Eren.

Neither of them broke the silence that Jean found comfortable and Eren found terrifying, they gathered the books and papers and then simply left into the slowly crowding hallways. Students buzzed about and continually lived their normal lives while Eren stayed to his little world filled with shit that wasn't exactly supposed to exist. Oh well, it's what he got for doing everything he did while still having the chance to fix it.

What has happened in his past never really bothered the boy to be truthful because it has already happened and there is nothing he can really do to change anything about it. Just learn to cope and you will be alright after all. Besides, if he hadn't made the decisions he had, he never would have met Armin and Mikasa and that is a terrifying thought to him.

"Nice of you to join us today, Mr. Jaeger," his science teacher quipped as he entered the room at least ten minutes late after blundering about the hallways for a while and simply listening to the silence creep up on him before he moved towards his classroom.

Grunting his reply, Eren moved towards the back and noticed there was a new student sitting right next to his usual spot. Whoop-de-fucking-do. Dropping his book nosily onto his desk, he threw himself into the chair and leaned back and made himself comfortable in his chair. The boy next to him didn't even flinch and suddenly the skin on his face prickled in an off way.

"Why are you staring at me?" Eren asked and opened one eye to peer back at the boy seated beside him. He had nicely colored brown hair, not too dark but also not too bright with soft brown eyes to compliment his freckled complexion and he had a kind smile curving up his lips. "It's creepy."

"Sorry," he said with a wider smile and his wide and innocent brown eyes softened a little bit. "You just had a look in your eyes that made me worry a little bit is all. I don't like it when people are upset so I was worried for you. No one was picking on you were they? I could talk to them if you'd like an—"

"Marco Bott! Please turn your attention to the front of the classroom," the professor called and after another smile, 'Marco' turned his attention back towards the young teacher down at the base of the classroom. Eren found he rather liked this new kid and slowly began to turn his words over in his head as his infamous ear buds made their way to snuggly fit inside his ears just to add some kind of noise whenever he breathed. Kid was like freckled Jesus or something because he had never heard of or seen anyone worrying for a kid like him, of all people.

Maybe science he could pay a little bit more attention in if he could get to talk to Marco more often. Kid was nice, and that, was a rarity. Once science ended and Marco kindly shook Eren awake, he headed back towards the dormitories to grab his phone for music and drop off his Science book only to get his Math book. He had forgotten what classes he even took but only knew how to get there and back from his dorm room. That's all he cared about really so whatever.

After three pathetically long classes that seemed to go by quicker with his music, Eren found out Marco was in practically all of his classes and sat next to him each one just to keep him company because the boy had declared Eren had looked lonely. Usually it would only be Armin and Mikasa as any sort of friend but Eren could tell this kid and him could become good friends. He found he didn't really mind. Just because he chose to be this way doesn't mean he isn't lonely from time to time.

Taking his leave before class really even ended, he headed off to his Self Defense class now and looked about the empty fighting mats and sighed. Eren wasn't about to break his habits of coming here earlier but he was hoping to at least see who the new teacher was before he dressed into his clothes. Just to see if the whole ordeal would be worth it; to let the person going to train him to see all of his scars. Pixis had always taught him in private because he understood about the scars but he didn't know about this new teacher at all.

Taking an unsteady breath, Eren spun his lock around and hit the three numbers and carefully pulling open the locker. It didn't take him long to be dressed in the loose slacks they fought in and he was bandaging up his marked and callused hands by the time the new teacher walked in.

Automatically Eren could tell something was wrong about him but he was too caught up in the way the man looked. Narrowed gray eyes with the finest hints of midnight blue within and surrounded by long black lashes; the undercut that extended up towards the man's scalp and the gentle caressing of ebony hair falling around the hard facial structure that was set in determination and almost defiance to anything that crossed his path. The pale skin and the gentle curving of his lips settled in dissatisfaction. Wow. He was hot not to mention he was already dressed and showed off his absolutely amazing physic.

Eren hated him.

The proud way he held his shoulders as if nothing in this world could defy him and the smug curve to the tips of his lips. Why that little shit. How dare he… how dare he remind Eren of… Of _him_!

"Oh fucking joy you are finally here. It took you a damn long time you little fucking twit," Eren snapped and his eyes glowed with a fierceness he hasn't felt entirely in years. For so long, Eren had been living on Earth and he had felt a few flickering emotions that were slowly fading away and out of his grasp of understanding. This, oh, this was beyond anything he had ever remembered feeling. It was downright fury.

Blood went flying when the man snapped into action and sent his foot colliding against Eren's cheek. Getting a little whiplash, Eren watched in shock as his tooth went flying across the room. What had just happened…? Did the teacher do that? He had never seen anyone move that fast or move without Eren even catching it at all.

Looking back up, the man's gray eyes flashed and landed another swift kick to his gut and more blood splattered from his lips as he collapsed on the ground. It wasn't like he felt the pain, oh no, he was too stunned and had been through much worse to let this affect him. But the fact this teacher could so easily beat him to the ground with blood coughing and spitting out of his lungs left Eren in an absolute daze.

Yelling out softly when the man soon rested a harsh foot on his back, he yelped silently when he felt too much pressure on a sensitive spot. Looking up, the man's gray eyes were clouded with a dark look and his mouth was twisted in a grimace. The air around him was practically screaming murderous intent. "Who is the fucking twit now you little shit?" He growled out and Eren's eyes narrowed. "I am surprised you took that all so well; makes it easier to beat you when you kneel like that."

Scowling, Eren looked up at him as blood, darker than most people's blood, slipped past his lips and onto the floor. Panting, he watched as sharp gray eyes landed on the growing blood stain and made a noise of discontentment that sounded a lot like '_tch_' and released Eren from the fetal position he beat him half to death into. Slowly sitting up and wiping away the blood using the back of his hand, Eren ached over now when all the kicks caught up with him.

"Clean up your blood brat," the man snarled and shot Eren a look that nearly made him shake in his boots but then again. It didn't because the nineteen year old had seen a hell of a lot worse than that so whatever. "I can't have this place be dirty already so get to work you lazy ass. What are you waiting for?"

Rolling his eyes, Eren got up and popped his back a little before grabbing some paper towels from the dispenser next to the bathroom. This was ridiculous. If this teacher cared so much, why not clean up the blood himself because he was the one who made Eren throw it up not moments ago. Jesus, this class was going to be a total pain in the ass now. Not to mention, it really put him in a bad mood.

"Don't you think you took that a little too far?" Eren questioned demandingly as he finished cleaning up the blood with what was still inside of him boiling with rage. Now he really didn't like this man, at all. He not only hated him now but resented him as well because that was taking it a bit too far. Hidden deep in his mind, though, his reasonable side saw a point to the beating because after all he was the one who vexed the man anyways. Immediately he shut the reasonable part of him up and just let himself bask in feeling anger again.

"No. I, for one, find pain to be the best form of teaching someone," the man drawled in an almost lazy and bored way. Oh did it ever grate on Eren's nerves and push his temper to its limits. Eren felt like his head was about to implode with the questions he wanted answers to and also to resist the urge to beat the shit out of this man who had put him on his knees which few had been able to accomplish. "Also, from now on, you will call me Captain Levi, you hear me? No informal stuff you young shits come up with now a days."

The one thing that did peek Eren's interest in this whole thing—two things really—was the timeless way Levi spoke and the graceful way his shoulders were set and the way he glided across the ground without so much as a sound. Not to mention the old name he had; the way he just seemed so timeless in himself the way nothing could replace it.

God now he was really starting to hate his inner self that was mentally comparing Levi to every hot man he had met and no one came even close because hot damn Levi was fine.

Okay, now he was more pissed off at himself rather than the man who beat him to the ground…

He has to be a masochist or something because that pain had felt _so good_ because it was something to_ feel_.

Groaning mentally, Eren took deep breaths to calm him down a little bit before he could even think about facing Levi. His heart rate had slowed down to a normal pace once again and he was proud it had. Still, he felt anger and fury and loneliness rage… _Why_?! What made this man feel so much inside of him when he had been so empty for so long…

"Fine, _Captain Levi_, my name is Eren Jaeger."

* * *

**Aaaannnd we are here again to this point! The end for this chapter. I honestly had fun with this one because Levi makes Eren so mad for his won reasons and then gets beat because of it. I don't know. I just found that humorous! XD**


	4. Nightmares and Memories

**AND chapter four is done! *wipes brow* This one took me a while just so I could figure out how to write the whole complexity of a small part of Eren's character. I will slowly build onto him as the chapters go, along with Levi who will soon be back in the story. Enjoy~**

* * *

After a horrible day in Self Defense and on multiple occasions getting beat until he was hurling blood onto the ground, Eren was completely and utterly done with speaking or looking at anyone at all. People, any kind of person really, was not on his list of _'You are okay'_. Nope, fuck no. People were way up there on the _'I hate you, go fuck yourself'_ list. Honestly, he would love to watch every last insufferable being on this Earth rot in hell while trying to climb out and only to have their arms ripped off by the Fallen Angels.

_Oh he would just love to…_

Taking in deep breaths, Eren forced his pounding heart to calm the fuck down and just breathe in the fresh air. The way the breeze tousled his already mused hair and the cool night air caressing every line of his body. The way he could feel and hear every last breath and the way everything was calm and quiet, nothing disturbing the peace. Finally, Eren slowed down a bit to a slow stop and slowed himself from going any further out of the city away from the dorms.

Looking about the city skyline, sitting on a roof of an abandoned building, life seemed so much easier. Like he wasn't who he was and that maybe he and she still cared for him and loved him like they always had. That maybe his own parents hadn't abandoned him to let him suffer the fate he brought on himself without even trying to help him out. It was funny how all they did was watch Eren bring himself down…

Why did they only watch? It hurt to think that maybe they had never loved him and were just waiting for the moment he fucked up and they could watch him burn. Perhaps it was true; they had always loved Erwin or anyone else more than him… God, it hurt, it really did. Red tears stung his eyes suddenly and Eren scowled, ducking his head down into his chest and pulling his legs close to his bare chest.

Toes exposed to the brisk air curled in, slack covered legs shaking as tiny little sobs shook his body. Eren wanted to go home, to hug his mom and joke with his dad and be…happy again, but Earth was a horrible place and he was trapped here because they wouldn't accept him anymore… Not after_ that_ incident happened and his fate had finally been sealed. Kicked out and abandoned to the median world between his two known worlds, he was trapped until one side chose him or the other accepted him again.

No one to see, no one to talk to and the occasional echoing scream as someone died a horrendous death and did not believe in Heaven. …

Sobs turned to screams of agony and torture, the sun only now beginning to rise in the horizon and bask the world in a fiery glow.

* * *

_"Eren!" Carla yelled out as she walked around the green fields, golden eyes searching for a certain bright eyed boy within the fields. "Dinner is ready, come on Eren!" Soon enough a brown tuft of hair poked out of the grass followed by brilliant turquoise eyes and a missing-front-teeth smile from a bubbly little seven year old Eren. _

_"Coming Mom!" Eren cried happily and got up, dusting himself off and running up to his mother and latching onto her leg with a tight hug. Carla couldn't do anything but smile back when Eren looked up at her with that infectious smile of his. No matter what he did, he would still always be her baby boy…_

_ Kneeling down in the grass, Eren soon stood taller than his mom which he seemed to enjoy a lot and Carla began to slowly straighten out white feathers that had been rumpled. "You need to keep your feathers in order," she chided lightly to Eren. Flushing at his mother's fingers preening his feathers, Eren pulled his wings back and they fluffed up a bit from embarrassment. "Eren, don't be—" _

_"It's silly!" Eren whined, effectively cutting Carla off with bright eyes narrowing down a little bit. "I am seven. I can preen my own feathers now. Not my fault you called me over right after a nap." Huffing, the boy began to straighten out his own feathers and Carla noticed with humor that his wings were far too big for his body already. Maybe the man was right and Eren was supposed to be the next messenger… _

_Ah, no matter. The time will come but it isn't here yet and oh Carla was glad it wasn't. She didn't know what she would do if Eren was suddenly far too old for her liking and was going to be making trips down to Earth more than he would be here with her. It wasn't an appealing thought because Eren was one of the few things that kept her happy. Being stuck in one place had put a damper on her usual glow. _

_She missed going back down to Earth. _

_Yet, when Eren looked back up from his feathers, he screamed out in terror at the sight of his mother. The body that was two seconds ago alive and breathing, was gruesomely twisted along the ground with blood splattered all around Carla and the golden eyes were hanging out of their sockets by a single thread looped between the skull at the back of her head that had been drilled through and the brain removed… _

_Eren couldn't move, he was frozen to his spot, watching in horror as the soul that had belonged to his mother slowly slipped out of her body to form a hovering ball of glowing golden light. No, no… Little soul, don't fall down. They are in Heaven, don't fall down… It can't fall, stop. _

_Then, as the ball fell through the ground and down, Eren realized he hadn't stopped screaming yet. His eyes were full of horror and tears that shimmered like crystals as they slid down his cheeks and hit the ground with a soft 'plink' noise. It was the only sound left as his screams were silenced and his mouth was left gaping in silent pleas. _

_Was he dying? Why was everything shrinking around him and why wasn't the body going away? Eren looked around as everything started to burn and his ears rang from the deafening silence around him, even with the fire that raged all around them... Feeling something connecting to his wrists, he jerked as he fell and then was yanked to a sudden stop. Dangling from the ceiling, he screeched out—tried to at least, no sound came out—and flapped his wings furiously before realizing it got him nowhere. _

_Giving a mental cry, Eren looked down and his heart crumbled in his chest as his stomach sank and then churned. Souls, forming each embodiment of the body they used to be, were thrown into the fiery pit below. Oh, their screams of agony and the way they struggled to stay at the tops of the raging flames that held fast to their souls and devoured it. Hell was getting crowded lately and this was the best way to get rid of the soul count. _

_"Eren!" A yell was heard down below, a soul with massive, beautiful golden wings pounding fruitlessly to get up made Eren scream out in horror, really scream. Satan loved to hear his precious "pets" scream, especially when its heartbreak and something he was causing. Eren yanked and tugged and screamed and cried as his mother fell towards the fire but the chains were too strong to hold his now twenty year old body._

* * *

"**STOP**!" Eren screamed and jumped awake with a pounding heart and racing breath. Instinctively, his wings and leaped out of his back during his dream sometime and he was on his feet without consciously telling himself to be on his feet and his instincts were screaming at him; _run, run_! Chest hurting and eyes stinging with tears made of blood, Eren did just that.

Spreading his midnight wings, he used the bare roof too his advantage and began to run along the concrete with bare and bloodying feet. Leaping onto the ledge with enough speed, Eren pushed himself upwards into the sky and began to fearlessly glide upwards and high into the sky. Even with the gentle breezes and the warm air surrounding him as he flew, his heart never stopped aching nor the screams in his ears.

And it wasn't even true.

* * *

"Eren, come on, you have to get out of bed sometime," Mikasa chided lightly and poked Eren in the side lightly and the boy flinched slightly before rolling over onto his back once again. Glad he had put on a pajama top last night, the now wingless boy opened his eyes to glare at Mikasa. "Now, now, no need to be so grumpy mister—"

"Shut the hell up," Eren growled, the sound dark and threatening and something he had never spoke to Mikasa with before. Immediately hurt flashed in her dark eyes but really, Eren could hardly give a damn that he hurt her feelings anymore. It was going to happen no matter how hard he tried to stop it because she just won't learn! "You have no right to speak to me like you are my mother so shut your goddamn mouth and don't treat me like a fucking child."

Mikasa clamped her jaw tightly and tendons popped out in the dip of her temple visibly. His words hit her deeply but Eren couldn't find it in himself to be upset or mad for being so cruel to her. Simply putting it, the dream he had on the roof yesterday in the wee hours of dawn had set him off into a terrible mood and the expedition with Levi hadn't made it any easier on his nerves. He honestly wished he could just crawl under the covers and hide forever.

"Fine, then. I was going to tell you lunch is ready is all," Mikasa said through clenched teeth and quickly spun on her heels and stalked out of the room, pausing to give Eren one last glance in hopes he would open his mouth to apologize and then left when he didn't so much as sit up in the bed. Was eating really worth getting out of this room? He wasn't growing anymore, hadn't been for a long time since he had been trapped here for who knows how many centuries and he didn't need to eat or drink after all.

Sighing heavily, he glanced up at the blinking clock to check the time and whined when it was only 1:32 in the afternoon. Why couldn't it be no time and he could find himself in Hell again? It would be easier to feel than it was here on Earth, where it numbs you out with the normality of it all and where life was simply the same thing day to day. Nothing changes. Maybe that's why being hit by Levi yesterday and hating him so much made him feel so much more alive.

Slowly over the years Eren had become numb to everything because after everything, nothing made him feel anything anymore at all and he simply existed. Day after day after day he did the same thing and though as the times in the world changed, he never did. Eren was just there. In the back of his mind he realized he didn't even really dislike Levi at all.

He just wanted to_ feel_.

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**Alrighty, well, I hope you guys liked this chapter. I liked this one because I gave you more into Eren but not exactly everything yet because you have a lot still left to learn and it will be a while before I give away any more... So yeah! :)**


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